' "Scott Burgess, a blogger from New Orleans who recently moved to London, spends his time indoors posting repeated attacks on the Guardian for its stance on the environment, its columnists such as Polly Toynbee, and its recent intervention in the US presidential election campaign."
'I wonder how they know when I moved to London - I don't think I've ever mentioned it here. The intent of painting me as a recent arrival to these shores seems to be to emphasise my American-ness, with all of its negative (to Guardianistas) connotations. In fact, I moved here over 6 years ago. To call my presence "recent" is akin to referring to the "recent" opening of the Millennium Dome; i.e., ridiculous.
'"Spends his time indoors"? Can someone explain to me what this is supposed to mean? As for the balance of the paragraph, I plead guilty with pride and without reservation - although I might append the phrase "as well as its blatant misstatements of fact". "He pitched into Mr Aslam, who as it happened, beat him to the traineeship on the Guardian."
'This is where the fun really begins. "As it happened," I did indeed "apply" for the traineeship - as a means of providing ironic entertainment to my readership (thanks very much Jackie D. of Samizdata, for your spirited and welcome defence). My "application" succeeded very well in its goal, becoming a running Ablution joke. Honestly. Given that I "spend my time indoors posting repeated attacks on the Guardian" (as I was doing long before my spurious "application") how can anonymous really expect people to think that I was serious?
'Actually, I should thank the Guardian for being so impressed with my investigative skills. In their view, I went from never having heard of Mr. Aslam to my discovery, two days later, of exactly which trainee position he was occupying. Perhaps the Guardian has room for a reporter of such ability - I understand they have a slot open. [NB - the last sentence is intended ironically.]'
Glorious. Read it all.
